Sara from A to Z - ZamNews!

To some I may appear to be a human rights warrior. However “worrier” rather than “warrior” is a better description of my inner life.

Over this past month several experiences stand out where the Lord has used verses from the Bible and songs of worship to grab a hold of my attention and pull my spirit up from sinking despair. I do not want these quiet miracles to be forgotten in the larger warrior-style victories.

Here is the first...

The Cliff-jumping Worrier (not Warrior)

“Worry is believing God won’t get it right.” (a quote someone posted on facebook)

A year ago this week I left the security of a decent job and salary to jump off a metaphorical career cliff into the unknown adventure of  “juvenile justice volunteer”.

In the physical world I am the very opposite of a cliff jumper. When attempting the bridge swing at Victoria Falls, my mind and body so refused to jump that I seemed to be welded to that small platform (despite the fact I was strapped tandem to my marine brother Luke who very much was trying to jump). [See the video below!]

Despite the fact every fiber of my being and every circuit of my brain rebels at the thought of jumping from heights -when it comes big career decisions, the right mix of discontent with the present and optimism for the future can send me leaping into the next life adventure. And it seems – it’s always without a bungee cord or safety-net.

Before taking this leap back into the volunteer world, I didn’t follow the traditional route of going back to the USA raising support to cover my next year. I certainly thought about it  - it seemed the smart secure thing to do. Instead I jumped straight into the work of learning the juvenile justice system, untangling long delayed cases, and building a vision for what could be done to impact the lives of imprisoned juveniles.

I don’t have any regrets about jumping straight into my work. When I remember the learning that took place and the progress made in those first months, I know I made the right decision. Yet “no-regrets” wasn’t much comfort at the end of each month when I felt my stomach fill with acid as I contemplated how I would meet my expenses. With any unexpected costs, a dark cloud of depression and worry would descend.  Yet every time the funds came and the need was met. I would chastise myself for worrying when I knew that God would not leave me out on a limb. He was the one who called me to this work. I’d also tell myself next month I would plan better and sacrifice more so as to avoid these anxious moments.

But of course – the very next month/incident I was back to being Worrier again.

A week ago, I was listing to music and the Jared Anderson song “According to His Word” came on with the Philippians 4:19 based lyrics “My God will supply all my needs, according to His word, according to His riches in glory.” Nice thought. Now to put it into practice...

As “the big one” approached (the month end when I also have to pay my next three months of rent), each time I looked at my accounts, calculated my costs, felt my stomach start to sour and my spirits sink - that chorus would start playing through my mind “My God will supply all my needs…” and I would resolve to trust God to do just that.  I haven’t quite made it through the end of the month yet. I am not sure how everything will be sorted out. But three months rent have been paid and God’s peace has prevailed over the anxiety. Another small victory for this worrying-warrior. 

And as promised....

P.S. That's not me doing the screaming... :)

Two years ago to this day, I had an experience that changed the recent course of my life. Looking back, I wonder if at the time it was meant only to be a single conscience-soothing act of kindness. Yet it became so much more.

In the months leading up to 28 June 2014, I had been taken to a local prison, Kamwala Remand Prison, in my capacity as a concerned lawyer, to learn more about the challenges facing the Zambian juvenile justice system. What I couldn’t forget were the looks of hopelessness in the eyes of the boys and the harsh conditions. As the cold season approached I decided to rally my friends and collect enough money to donate blankets to the prison. Not that I specifically viewed it as a one-time thing, but at least it would give me some peace of mind whenever I felt the morning chill in the air.

That day, 28 June 2014, I went with a few friends to drop at the prison the 50 blankets we had purchased. I assumed we would just be sticking them inside the gate and then be on our way. However, the prison officers insisted we give the blankets directly to the juveniles and before we knew it, we had donned bright yellow visitor vests and had been ushered inside the prison and into the juvenile area. After an awkwardly formal handover of a blanket to one of the youngest of the 59, the officers left us with instructions to mingle and chat to the boys. Eventually the awkwardness wore off, thanks to the easy topic of the ongoing football world cup. Before we knew it the officers were back and ready to escort us out. But first, we were to receive a “vote of thanks” from our new friends. One of the older boys was quickly chosen to speak on behalf of the group. I will never forget the theme of his words – Yes, that night they would be warm because of the blankets, but what they would be talking about was that today they had visitors. He plead with us not to just leave that place, blankets delivered, and the boys then forgotten. He asked that we remember them and that we promise to return again to visit. We promised.

Later that day I posted this on Facebook:

It was on that day that “Undikumbukire” (“Remember me”) was born.

Little could I imagine then we would return, first every three weeks, then every two weeks, and then every week to have fun with and encourage these “Kamwala boys”. In the past two years I estimate we have visited with over 1000 imprisoned juveniles across 9 prison facilities.

Little could I imagine that 15 months later I would take a further step to begin coordinating legal representation – which back then was unfamiliar and daunting. Since October 2015 we have represented 38 juveniles and 99 imprisoned migrants in court proceedings. We are working to get 68 more juveniles their day in court within the next two months.

Little could I imagine we would get involved in advocacy on a major human rights/Anti Human Trafficking issue and see 40 boys pardoned of 15 year sentences.

Little could I imagine that I would be building a team of community members to stay involved in the lives of these teens as they get their freedom and face the future.

Little could I imagine what joy I would experience inside the walls of a deteriorating prison.

One of my motivating factors in getting involved with these boys and this work has been my Christian faith. In looking back over the past two years, the triumphant song “Never Alone” (by Matt Redman) comes to mind:

“Standing on this mountaintop


Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step


You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground


Seeing just how much You’ve done


Knowing every victory


Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way


But with joy our hearts can say


Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own


You are faithful, God, You are faithful.”

You may have noticed that as I write this I constantly say “we”. I’m so grateful for the “we” that has been a part of this project from the very first visit – the friends who pitched in to get those first blankets, the volunteers who have made time to visit the boys in prison, the generous community members who have given so items to improve the day to day lives of imprisoned juveniles, the 4 lawyers and 3 advising lawyers who have handled all our cases pro bono, the friends and family who are supporting me financially so that I have the freedom to pursue this project….And to my Lord who continues to sustain me and show me joy in the midst of a grim reality.

With all that has happened in two short years, I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Happy Birthday Undikumbukire! May you see many more years of success!