“I said the man at the gate of the year
‘Give me a light, that I might go forth into the unknown.’
The man replied, ‘Put your hand into the hand of God.
That shall be to you better than a light, and safer than any known way.’
One year ago, I stepped off a plane into the humid Zambian morning. I don’t think that there was any way I could have imagined what the impact this year and this country would have on my life. It has been one of joy and tears, struggle and triumph, highs and lows, testing and resting, breakthrough and setback. So much has happened I can hardly know where to start!
February - Introduction to Zambia
Within days of arriving in Zambia, I was dispatched to help out with two out-of-town paralegal trainings IJM was putting on. Spending four weeks “in the field” was a bit like jumping in the deep end with only a rough idea of how to swim. Fortunately I didn’t sink. These trainings were a interesting introduction to the legal system of Zambia, as well as its people and way of life. This experience also served to give me a clearer picture of what IJM sought to accomplish here in Zambia. I soaked in my new world with great fascination and met each new day with excitement and joy.
March - Settling in, Phase 1
March found me back in the capital city of Lusaka, which was to be my new home. Having spent all my time either North or South, it was only then that I was really able to get an idea what the next six months of my life would be like. In the office, I went through the paces of workshops, revising training materials, making media budgets, and attending grant meetings with our partners. I found my way around my apartment by exploring closets and cupboards of stuff passed down through generations of IJM interns, making my first cake, sewing curtains and cushions, and devising ways to keep my mosquito net from falling down on me in the night. I was welcomed into Lusaka’s Christian community, visiting my church Twin Palm Baptist Church for the first time and becoming part of an international Bible study, which has yielded so many good friends over the past year.
April - Catching the Vision
Now that I was beginning to get settled in, I began to meet so many different people doing so many different things here in Zambia. In fact, as weird as it sounds, my first thought whenever I saw another expat was “What is he/she doing here?” because you don’t meet many people who end up in Zambia by accident. :) As I learned about everything people were doing here, I began to have a better understanding of the challenges Zambia is facing and it’s great potential. In short, I found myself catching a vision for Zambia rather than viewing it as rest stop between my past and my future. This month I also had my first visitor from home (Thanks Hannah!), made my first of many trips to the amazing Victoria Falls, and visited my 2nd African country, Botswana.
May - Decisions, Decisions
In May, it seemed that no matter where I was or who I met, people began to ask me about my long term plans and whether those plans would include Zambia. More and more, the suggestion of a future in Zambian law came up. To practice law in Zambia, someone from another jurisdiction was usually sent off to the University of Zambia for various courses before being allowed to sit for the Legal Practitioners Qualification Exams (Zambian version of the Bar Exams). If you managed to clear the University courses, then you have to take an additional 10 month course that leads up to the exams. As I looked into the process, it seemed unlikely that I would be accepted without a lot of hassle, so I applied at the Zambia Institute of Advanced Legal Studies (ZIALE) thinking I had nothing to lose from the experience. Much to my surprise, the door swung wide open and I was accepted to start classes immediately the following week! Then the struggle came - I actually had to make the decision whether or not to cast my lot in with Zambia for the next 10 months at least. Through it all, the Lord gave me peace and excitement about what He had in store and I decided to take the plunge!
When I look back and remember how glad I was to be finished with Law School and Bar Exams in the US five years ago, I wonder that I ever agreed to do it again! June again brought changes in every area of my life: new roommates, new friends, new routine, new work. Enrolling at ZIALE marked a turning point in my life here in Zambia. I was not longer simply a visitor passing through. I was committed. I was joining the ranks. I’ve written in the past about what a shock returning to school was to my system. Yet it has broadened my experience as nothing else could have. I have been able to gain valuable insight to what makes this country “tick” and my classmates-turned-friends have profoundly impacted my life.
July - Settling in, Phase 2
The steep learning curve continued into July. Taking eleven courses was a bit mind boggling and I was still figuring out just what it meant to be a law student in Zambia. Now that I was studying law, IJM transitioned me from doing the work of a liaison to doing the work of a lawyer. I went from explaining property grabbing to community leaders and church members to encountering it in lives of our clients and taking the legal steps to bringing that injustice to an end.
August - Staying, not Leaving
August started out with losing all of my roommates to the beginning of the American school year (Boo!) and discovering a new passion - football (Yay!) As unlikely as it may have seemed, upon watching my first British Premiere League match I promptly fell in love with the sport, more specifically with Arsenal. (Go Gunners!) Also, August marked my original return date. As I prepared to make my first visit back to Georgia, I pondered what it would be like, because unlike my departing roommates, my journey home would only be temporary...
September - Home Sweet Home
September was a great month! Only later would I realize how much I needed this time of encouragement. It was so much fun being back among the “Larios Gang” again. I was reminded again and again what an amazing and crazy family I had! It was also such an encouragement to have so many people remark on the positive changes and growth they saw in my life. When you are in the thick of things, you don’t always see how you are being effected. It really refreshed my spirits and my raised confidence that I was doing the right thing. Despite having to again leave family and friends behind, my trip home had strengthened my commitment to Zambia.
October - I Love My Life!
It was great to return to Zambia and get back into what was now my “normal life”: work, school, ministry, and friends. I realized more than ever how much I really enjoyed my life! I even enjoyed the hot, dry, weather. Looking back, I see it was the much-needed calm before the storm.
November - Busy, Busy, Busy
November marked the beginning of an extremely busy season for me. With the end of the year approaching, IJM was working extra-hard to meet their annual targets. Lecturers crammed in as much as possible into their classes before December’s mid-year exams. My social calendar was also jammed full as I only had a month to give my brother Luke the full “Zambian Experience” during his visit, including bungee jumping together! (It is so great to now have a family member who truly understands my life!) In what proved to be our biggest event of the year, my roommates, Luke, and I hosted a full authentic Thanksgiving Dinner for our 30 closest friends. For many of them, it was their first Thanksgiving!
During this month I seemed to go through testing of every kind. It began with saying goodbye to Luke, who had fit so perfectly into my life here. From there, it was all study, all the time. My 27 hours of midyear exams didn’t just test my knowledge of the law - they tested me physically, emotionally, and at times made me question my sanity! The exams were closely followed by being mugged, and then going through the holidays on the opposite side of the world from my family. Faith can really be tested when going through really intense struggles that nobody else seems to understand. More than once, I found myself thinking of the refining process described throughout the Bible and saying to God “Can’t you turn the heat down just for a little while?” I think that December was one of the hardest months in my life to date, and it was only the prayers of family and friends that got me through.
January - Renewing my commitment
Coming out of such a tough month, I have had to make a conscious effort to renew my resolve now that reality has truly set in - this new life of mine is not going to be easy! Not only will I miss significant family events such as weddings and family reunions, I am giving up being a part of my family’s day-to-day life. I am giving up stability in relationships, financial security, my independence, in exchange for a life surrendered to God.
There will be days of seeing a distressed client become confident as she is empowered to keep her property, having fascinating conversations with friends, and looking up into the wonderful blue Zambian sky. And there are going to be days when I get my wallet stolen, have to walk in the rain, struggle to remember case names, and feel alone in the world. Yet through it all, it is my prayer that I can remain faithful and live a life that only God could have imagined.
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